The view from above.

What’s all this fuss about the 15th of August? I mean, it’s just another day, right? Umm, not so. Apparently, the folks over here in India would like you to believe otherwise. Now don’t misinterpret my intentions. I’m an Indian myself and I feel I’m entitled to have an opinion about the shenanigans that mark the day which is supposed to be our ‘Independence Day’.

This is the day when every man and his dog go around showing off their ‘patriotism’. Shopkeepers make hay while the sun shines, selling cheap plastic flags by the dozen. Banners with our ‘great’ political leaders come up on busy intersections, trying to take credit for freeing the country from the foreigners’ oppression. TV channels go bonkers and have so-called patriotic movies lined up for the whole day. The Prime Minister (or is it the President? I couldn’t care less.) delivers his traditional speech which only has a few lines changed from the one he delivered last year. One half of the country’s population sits glued to their TV sets, watching the parade on the watch-it-twice-a-year national broadcasting channel. So what we have here is, Indians watching Russian aircrafts on display on a Korean television, sitting on French furniture and conversing among themselves in English. Call it globalisation or call it something else. Your choice.

On a more personal level, I find it pretty amusing how people wait for I-Day to display their patriotism. I mean, if you really love your country why should you need to wait for a specific date in the calendar? It’s a bit like Valentine’s Day really, without the mushy stuff. But unlike V-Day, my inbox gets flooded with I-Day messages from enthusiastic friends who happen to have me on their messaging list. These messages range from the simple ‘Happy Independence Day’ to the for-fucks-sake-get-a-grip-son variety such as ‘our great leaders blah blah blah, mother India blah blah, love the country blah blah and more blah’. The worst are those ‘gems’ of poetry that a few people manage to unearth from some old book or an obscure site on the Web. I got your point, now would you mind laying off Shakespeare for a while? Sheesh.

Now I wouldn’t want to play spoilsport and ruin your I-Day ‘celebrations’, but really, take a look at yourselves. And then take a look around you. These are the same people who are ashamed to call themselves Indians on international forums, the same twunts who find it embarrassing to stand up when the national anthem is played (although this one is, more often than not, a matter of personal choice), the same jokers who would fly away to the US of A and never return, if given an opportunity. So why this facade? Just to blend in with the crowd? If so, then these people should get a life. Or a passport.

As for me, the 15th of August is just another day in the calendar (although it also happens to be the birthday of a very good friend). And unlike this year, it’s another holiday for the overworked and underpaid masses. At the risk of courting controversy, I’d say that Independence Day has lost its charm. There is nothing special about this day and if you feel differently, you really need to wake up and smell the coffee. Loving your country is fine and dandy, but going overboard with sentiment on a specific day of the year is truly absurd. Especially when you’ve done nowt for your beloved nation and you’re gonna do nowt for your beloved nation in the foreseeable future.

So on the 15th of August this year, I woke up when I wanted to. I ate what I wanted to eat and I did what I wanted to do. I went out and wasn’t stopped by anyone for wearing goofy clothes or for looking like a northerner in Chennai. I didn’t buy a flag and I didn’t go to watch any stupid parade. I didn’t play any patriotic songs nor am I going to. I didn’t go and send I-Day messages to all and sundry. And the best part is, I’m writing what I feel right here, without any fear of the cops dragging me away. In short, I lived the way I wanted to live (staying on the right side of the law, of course).

This is independence. And I wouldn’t want it to be any other way.

That pretty much sums up the thoughts of the majority of the Indian youth, methinks. Agree or disagree? Let me know.

We’ve got contributors from all over India, yours truly included. Check it out!

That is all.

The Final 3rd

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At the risk of schadenfreude, I must say that at least it’s better than getting cooked in the scorching May heat. The 5 minute walk from my house to the office seems like a marathon thanks to the ‘default’ Chennai weather. But like most things in life, the bad inevitably followed the good. My bed was the first one to suffer, getting drenched in rainwater leaking from a wall socket while I slept. The poor mattress is currently being kept under the intensive care of a table fan. And the mattress didn’t go for a dip alone. It took 2 of my bedsheets along, colouring them violet in the process. The worst part? I had changed the sheets right before I went to sleep that night.

For now, the weather is quite pleasant and I know it won’t last long. But anything’s better than having to suffer at the hands of the dreaded Chennai weather.

That was what I expected when I boarded the Pushpak Express from Nashik on the 20th of February. And although there was not too much to complain about, one thing caught my eye -

There's a roach in my coach!

Click the image to get a clearer view of what I’m talking about.

Apparently, even after rigorous efforts to keep the compartment clean and hygienic, this creature escaped the clutches of the cleaning staff.

And this, in an AC 2 Tier coach. Go figure.

All I can say is – some things never change.

However, not all consumers take it lying down. Check out this link for Koshy John’s woeful experience with the Hewlett Packard (India) customer care. Also, don’t forget to visit the forum where it all began.

Conclusive proof, that it pays to be aware of your rights as a consumer.

During this time, I may not have given anything to the nation in return for everything that I got. But still, I hope, just like most of us, that someday I’ll be able to play a small but significant contribution to India’s progress. That is all.

Happy Independence Day.

Jai Hind!

FAIL

In fact, now I have 3 contacts named AirTel 1, 2 & 3, each having 5 of their phone numbers so that the next time they call me, I’ll know better than to pick up the phone. I’ve even assigned the AirTel ad music (the one featuring A.R. Rehman) as their ringtone. With such detailed preparations, you’d think I’m well-equipped to handle anything that AirTel throws at me. After all, what more can they possibly do?

I found the answer to my question a couple of days ago.

The day began like any other, I’d just returned from my morning classes and was planning what to do next, when my cellphone rang. I’d got a message. It read along the lines of,

‘You have been subscribed to Hello Tunes… yada-yada-yada’.

It was from 543211, the AirTel Hello Tunes service. Must be some mistake, I thought. I didn’t subscribe to any such thing! Quickly checked my balance which was a princely sum of Rs. 5.41, just in case.

No damage done… yet.

Hello?

After about 15 minutes, I got another message, this time from a 4-digit number saying,

‘Thank you for subscribing to the Hello Tunes service. Your monthly charge of Rs.30 has been deducted from your account balance…….’.

What the….???? A quick reality-check confirmed my fears. My balance stood at Rs.-24.59.

Collateral damage.

Now here I was, my balance in the red, cellphone rendered useless and my fist trembling with anger. I called up their customer care number from my AirTel landline (yes, I know) and after navigating through their maze of menus, finally reached a customer service representative. I somehow controlled my language and my voice as I explained my problem to her. The lady checked up the records but my balance had not been updated there yet. Great. She told me to call up after 20 minutes while the records get sorted out. Gee, thanks.

Patience is not a virtue that I possess, so I called up again after just 10 minutes. This time some bloke was on the other end and I had to do the explaining all over again. Thankfully, their records had been updated so it was plain obvious what i was complaining about. After a few checks, he redirected me to a higher authority where I had to rewind & play once more. I was put on hold for 4-5 minutes and finally assured that my caller tune would be deactivated and my balance would be returned!!

Victory!!!

5 minutes later, I got the confirmation -

‘You have been unsubscribed from the Hello Tunes service…..’.

A few more minutes and my balance was back as well! Muahahahaha!!! Take that, you capitalist leech!

So in a nutshell, I got subscribed to a service that I didn’t even request for, they took away me money and left me in the lurch! And the fact that they didn’t put the blame on me – the customer – speaks volumes about this goof-up.

But what actually went wrong? No answers to this one.